30
Dec
09

If you’re not ready to listen – then don’t speak


Sometimes my quiet time surprises me – like when I observe what arises in the silence and realize that I’m attached to the feelings that are standing before me – up in my face as if to say “What about this Bitch?!”.  And then that’s where it ends.  No enlightenment. No “letting go”. No “moving on”.  No flow.  Just “here I am”.  Me and my feeling – going nowhere fast.
I like what Sharon writes below about living in a world where we still speak out; we take action – but not without also paying attention to ourselves,  listening from a place of acceptance and nonjudgment about our own feelings.  Because unless I do this first, how can I ever be in a place to acknowledge someone else with all their varied feelings and perspectives?
If  I cannot acknowledge and accept the darker side of myself and am always in a rush to change it “quickly”  without listening to it – then I’m doomed to rush others and not accept where they are.  I’ll never listen to them.
Kindness and Understanding begin at home.  Cultivating a compassionate listening ear begins with the Self.  There is no sense in speaking out unless you can also listen to yourself  first. Why bother even trying to listen to another without doing this step, cause you’ll never even hear them.

– Sharon Salzberg writes:Mindfulness enables us to cultivate a different quality of attention, one where we relate to what we see before us not just as an echo of the past, or a foreshadowing of the future, but more as it is right now.

Making the effort to truly see someone doesn’t mean we never respond or react or take very strong action. . .

We can and do attempt to restore a failing marriage, protest loud cell phones in public places, or try, with everything in us, to rectify Injustice.

But we can do it from a place that allows people to be as textured as they are, and that admits our feelings to be as varied and flowing as they are.  A place open to surprises.  A place that listens. . .


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3 Responses to “If you’re not ready to listen – then don’t speak”


  1. December 30, 2009 at 10:27 am

    I listened and heard the past trying to intrude onto the present and I relaxed, focused on the moment, and then let my fingers type what my inner self wanted you to hear. The present isn’t always fun and games, but can be an exercise in caring. Viewing things with compassion doesn’t mean you let people walk all over you. Standing up to someone or for something can often provide more compassion than non-action.

    michael j

  2. 2 johnherberger
    December 30, 2009 at 11:15 am

    Thanks Michael. I agree and would add to that, when you are standing up to something or someone, listening can let you know whether it is the ego standing up in self righteousness or whether it is true compassion. The outcome of standing up varies with where it originated.
    John

  3. December 30, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    Hmm, similar to what once I read somewhere:

    How can one say he truly loves and accepts another–while he himself does not fully love and accept himself?

    Nice one. Thanks 🙂


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Live'n Aloha on Maui.
Lately just posting pics, artwork, vids, & music with just a headline (less seems to be more).
Into Wilber, Beck, Zen Stuffs, Spiritual Concepts, Philosophy and Humor (kinda geeky humor).
Currently attempting to strengthen my meditation skills (this has been a 20 yr process).
Thanks for stopp'n by and please leave a comment. Poz or Neg, all comments welcome.
"I don't like Spam" (said with a British accent)

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