Let your mind become like a fog at sunset

Divinity has one ultimate secret, which it will also whisper in your ear if your mind becomes quieter than the fog at sunset: the God of this world is found within, and you know it is found within: in those hushed silent times when the mind becomes still, the body relaxes into infinity, the senses expand to become one with the world-

in those glistening times, a subtle luminosity, a serene radiance, a brilliantly transparent clarity shimmers as the true nature of all manifestation, erupting every now and then in a compassionate Radiance before whom all idols retreat,

a love so fierce it adoringly embraces both light and dark, both good and evil, both pleasure and pain equally….

~ Ken Wilber
Source: “Simple Feeling of Being”

(and this is one reason why when I do not sit regularly in meditation, life is not the same.  And when I do sit,  life is not the same – John)

I Opened the Wardrobe again . . .

 

 

 

It’s been awhile since I posted anything about the spiral development in which I transcend and also include the former stages of  my development (maybe because it is easier said than done – or maybe cause I think most people don’t really give a shit what I think).

I’ve resisted watching “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe”, by C.S. Lewis ever since the magic and myth behind the story were made into “literal” ideas years ago.  I loved the Narnia Chronicles, however the literal interpretation stole the essence of this beautiful story and made me turn away (the baby and the bath water, yeah?). I have not looked at this story in over 10 years

I watched it this evening.

This is a truly wonderful myth of redemtion. From purple through blue (into green) and up the spiral into yellow (if you’re not sure what I am bloging about  – google Spiral Dynamics).  While not a literalist, this was for me a wonderful film – About ego, humility, the shadow, the dark night of the soul, the sacrifice of love, misunderstanding, redeeming oneself, redeeming other sentient beings, loss of hope and the inner hope of knowing. Very Joseph Campbell – who I owe much of my development to.

Why did I allow literalism to rob me of this?

Just something I need to sit with and breathe through . . .

I do know that developmentally, children (or humans in general)  have to first experience a dichotomous “right and wrong”, “good and evil” before they can move towards Oneness.  This film is in-between the dichotomy and the oneness. So mankind is moving forward, even in the West. So I include this in my development.

Going to bed, I have a hike on the side of a volcano scheduled in the morning.
Breathe,

John

Are you evolving as a Listener? (or, How I moved from “at least I know” to “I don’t Already know”)

My background in Counseling tends to make me think in terms of developmental stages or evolution.  So I am attracted to ideas/theories like Maslow, Piaget, Kohlberg, Graves, Beck, Wilber - Spiral Dynamics, Integral Theory, etc.  So I came across “The Theory of U” by Otto Sharmer (recommended by the latter), I’ve posted the beginning of the theory which has to do with Evolving as a Listener.  This also gels well with many of my Taoist beliefs about remaining open enough to say “I don’t already know”.  “Change” has been a buzzword along with ‘Hope” these last few months.  Real change happens when you remain truly OPEN. So, are you evolving as a Listener?

Learning to recognize the habits of attention in

any particular business culture requires, among

other things, a particular kind of listening.

Over more than a decade of observing people’s

interactions in organizations, I have noted four

different types of listening.

􀀬􀁉􀁓􀁔􀁅􀁎􀁉􀁎􀁇􀀀􀀑􀀚􀀀􀀤􀁏􀁗􀁎􀁌􀁏􀁁􀁄􀁉􀁎􀁇

“Yeah, I know that already.” I call this type

of listening “downloading”—listening by

reconfirming habitual judgments. When

you are in a situation where everything

that happens confirms what you already

know, you are listening by downloading.

􀀬􀁉􀁓􀁔􀁅􀁎􀁉􀁎􀁇􀀀􀀒􀀚􀀀􀀦􀁁􀁃􀁔􀁕􀁁􀁌

“Ooh, look at that!” This type of listening

is factual or object-focused: listening by

paying attention to facts and to novel or

disconfirming data. You switch off your

inner voice of judgment and listen to the

voices right in front of you. You focus on

what differs from what you already know.

Factual listening is the basic mode of

good science. You let the data talk to you.

You ask questions, and you pay careful

attention to the responses you get.

􀀬􀁉􀁓􀁔􀁅􀁎􀁉􀁎􀁇􀀀􀀓􀀚􀀀􀀥􀁍􀁐􀁁􀁔􀁈􀁉􀁃

“Oh, yes, I know exactly how you feel.”

This deeper level of listening is empathic

listening. When we are engaged in real

dialogue and paying careful attention,

we can become aware of a profound shift

in the place from which our listening

originates. We move from staring at the

objective world of things, figures, and

facts (the “it-world”) to listening to the

story of a living and evolving self (the

“you-world”). Sometimes, when we say

“I know how you feel,” our emphasis is on

a kind of mental or abstract knowing. But

to really feel how another feels, we have

to have an open heart. Only an open heart

gives us the empathic capacity to connect

directly with another person from within.

When that happens, we feel a profound

switch as we enter a new territory in the

relationship; we forget about our own

agenda and begin to see how the world

appears through someone else’s eyes.

􀀬􀁉􀁓􀁔􀁅􀁎􀁉􀁎􀁇􀀀􀀔􀀚􀀀􀀧􀁅􀁎􀁅􀁒􀁁􀁔􀁉􀁖􀁅

“I can’t express what I experience in

words. My whole being has slowed

down. I feel more quiet and present

and more my real self. I am connected

to something larger than myself.” This

type of listening moves beyond the

current field and connects us to an even

deeper realm of emergence. I call this

level of listening “generative listening,”

or listening from the emerging field of

future possibility. This level of listening

requires us to access not only our open

heart, but also our open will—our

capacity to connect to the highest future

possibility that can emerge. We no longer

look for something outside. We no longer

empathize with someone in front of us.

We are in an altered state. “Communion”

or “grace” is maybe the word that comes

closest to the texture of this experience.

When you operate from Listening 1 (downloading),

the conversation reconfirms what you

already knew. You reconfirm your habits of

thought: “There he goes again!”
When you operate

from Listening 2 (factual listening), you disconfirm

what you already know and notice what is new out

there: “Boy, this looks so different today!”
When

you choose to operate from Listening 3 (empathic

listening), your perspective is redirected to seeing

the situation through the eyes of another: “Boy,

yes, now I really understand how you feel about

it. I can sense it now too.”
And finally, when you

choose to operate from Listening 4 (generative

listening), you realize that by the end of the

conversation you are no longer the same person

you were when it began. You have gone through

a subtle but profound change that has connected

you to a deeper source of knowing, including the

knowledge of your best future possibility and self.

Want to know more? Go to:
http://www.presencing.com/docs/publications/execsums/Theory_U_Exec_Summary.pdf
I love discovering – don’t you?

My illusions

It is very common for me to over identify myself with my thoughts or feelings.  Like my thoughts are, oh so important and my current feelings are,  oh so real.  Ever do that?

The reality is everything changes.  My thoughts about issues change as I get more information, or as I process something, or with hindsight.  My feelings can change even faster depending on what song is playing on the radio, or if someone cuts me off on the highway, or if my niece gives me a hug.  It’s all Impermanence.

Remember, no matter what it is, “this too shall pass”.  (Our electoral process alone is a great example of that)

That’s where meditation is centering for me. It allows me to step back and observe (with a gentleness and kindness) what is going on in my head (without judgement) and also what I’m feeling at the moment (without over identification).
To paraphrase some of Wilber’s thoughts – it’s the big “I” observing the little “i”.  The Greater Self behind the self.

Now my habits often keep me in a “mindless” state rather than a “mindfull” presence.  But even just a few moments a day of reconnecting with the big “I” can not only change thoughts and feelings but can even change heart rate, blood pressure and sleep.  I’m not even talking about hours – just a few minutes of reconnecting. The biggest change over the years has been one of nonjudgement.  I don’t beat myself up for not meditating; I’m a lot kinder to myself.  I just make time to meditate again without spending a lot of energy on the “missed” meditation or mindful times.  (Genpo Roshi’s “Big Mind and Big Heart” helped  me evolve in this)

I also believe in clinical depression and medication (this is not a post about how quickly we tend to take a pill to solve a “feeling”, but  to say there is a “place” for science and meds).  If you take medication for a chemical imbalance, it can enhance the  ”observing process” of meditation.  Often times it is too painful to observe without it.  Just don’t overidentify with your diagnosis, remember being say, “bipolar” is just a part of who you are – and all the more reason to not over identify with thoughts or feelings (which is common to that diagnosis).

Here is a quote from ~ Anthony de Mello, 20th century Jesuit priest
from Awareness.
It speaks of this over identification well:

“Don’t say, “I am depressed.” If you want to say, “It is depressed,” that’s all right. If you want to say that depression is there, that’s fine; if you want to say gloominess is there, that’s fine. But not: I am gloomy. You’re defining yourself in terms of the feeling. That’s your illusion; that’s your mistake. There is a depression there right now, but let it be, leave it alone. It will pass. Everything passes, everything. Your depressions and your thrills have nothing to do with happiness. Those are swings of the pendulum. If you seek kicks or thrills, get ready for depression. Do you want your drug? Get ready for the hangover. One end of the pendulum swings over to the other.”

Thanks for stopping by,
John

Red: red wine, redrum, red rain falling down (the next video)

Moving up the development spiral from purple (see my purple post a few days back) – which is the tribal and family oriented stage of life, we can see the need to break away and be independent (and often very narcissistic in our breaking away).  In societies this was reflected in movements from tribes to fuedal kingdoms – in human development it’s the rebellion of teenage years. The Red Stage.

In arrested development it’s those people who remain so grandiose and self absorbed that unless they are a family member or boss – we rarely have anything to do with them. They never move into the next stage of development – and let’s face it, there are things you can get away with as a teenager that you can’t get away with any other time in life.  And it’s inevitable like any “developmental theory” that we hopefully move up the spiral and through the stages (both individually and collectively).

Anyway this video has both the worst and BEST of the Red stage.  This is so unlike the purple stage where the tribe or family means more than the individual – no wonder it’s so hard to let our teenagers go; it’s the reason we worry and want to keep them close to the tribe – but it’s also the reason we know we gotta let em go!  I love this video and it’s no wonder Bono picked her to cover one of his songs.  She actually lived this . . .

OK it won’t let me embed the video so here’s the link to YouTube. GO! It’s worth it: